Dear Kid In Class Sitting Next to Me to Eating Cheetos,

Copyright Mary E. Kirkland

Dear Kid In Class Sitting Next to Me to Eating Cheetos,

How nice of you to choose to sit next to me when there are about 70 other seat options in this class?! That was so considerate of you. I’m certain you are really enjoying those tasty, crunchy style Cheetos. I can tell they must be cheesy and delicious because of your orange, cheese-stained fingers which are gradually transferring cheese residue to the pages of your filthy notebook. And your nasty, over-grown finger nails are just filling up with cheese powder, making for quite the combination of grime & cheese! Those cheesy Cheetos must also be super crunchy, cause you sure are crunch’n up a storm over there! So much so that you are completely drowning out the professor. And, as much as I’d rather not have to hear someone talk about legislative compliance for an hour and 45 minutes, believe it or not, it actually beats listening to the sound of that insanely loud bag crackling as you reach for another Cheeto and those darn Cheetos crunching in your mouth. So do me a favor next time, either leave the Cheetos at home or bring me a bag, too! …Or prepare for a different kind of snack, a knuckle sandwich with punch.

Thanks! 🙂